Journal entry by Al Negstad — 1 minute ago
Henri Nouwen once said something like "No one reaches old age without have their heart broken." To say this in another way, every older person lives in the land of grief. When Joanne said "grief touches grief" I understood that she meant when we encounter new losses (grief) the resident grief we carry rises to meet the new absence, perhaps making the whole greater than the sum of its parts.
Continuing to cogitate on the deaths of Tim Fisher and Richard Anderson, (see last night's blog), from my place in the land of grief, I've been reflecting on ancillary grievers. On my desk is a picture of a family gathering taken when I was a baby in grandma's arms. Of the 26, of us in the picture 6, survive. Included in the deceased are my mother (dad was taking the picture and, he too, is deceased) and 2, of my three siblings. Much later Joanne 'came into the picture ' and she too, along with others not pictured, are dead. Everyone of those deaths went into 'my pool of grief'.
When death occurs we naturally focus much of our sympathetic attention on the surviving parent, spouse, sibling or child. This is both natural and, as it should be. However, every death also has ancillary grievers, nieces/nephews, aunts/uncles, cousins and other family members. Today I'm particularly thinking of bereaved friends. Joanne, Tim and Richard were all blessed with deep friendships and each of those friends suffer real grief...more grief added to the pool they carry. In my journey in the land of grief I've been buoyed by the support of Joanne's friends who also carry on in their own land of grief.
On a lighter note: I concluded teaching today, finishing To Kill A Mockingbird, with a group of 6th grade students. (see picture).
Takk for alt,
Al
Pictures: The family photograph and a 'sefie' with the 6th grade readers.
Continuing to cogitate on the deaths of Tim Fisher and Richard Anderson, (see last night's blog), from my place in the land of grief, I've been reflecting on ancillary grievers. On my desk is a picture of a family gathering taken when I was a baby in grandma's arms. Of the 26, of us in the picture 6, survive. Included in the deceased are my mother (dad was taking the picture and, he too, is deceased) and 2, of my three siblings. Much later Joanne 'came into the picture ' and she too, along with others not pictured, are dead. Everyone of those deaths went into 'my pool of grief'.
When death occurs we naturally focus much of our sympathetic attention on the surviving parent, spouse, sibling or child. This is both natural and, as it should be. However, every death also has ancillary grievers, nieces/nephews, aunts/uncles, cousins and other family members. Today I'm particularly thinking of bereaved friends. Joanne, Tim and Richard were all blessed with deep friendships and each of those friends suffer real grief...more grief added to the pool they carry. In my journey in the land of grief I've been buoyed by the support of Joanne's friends who also carry on in their own land of grief.
On a lighter note: I concluded teaching today, finishing To Kill A Mockingbird, with a group of 6th grade students. (see picture).
Takk for alt,
Al
Pictures: The family photograph and a 'sefie' with the 6th grade readers.
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