Journal entry by Al Negstad — a minute ago
Now, having reached a certain age, blessed with the gift of memory, it is interesting to survey my relational landscape. There were contemporaries in my youth, whom I thought, were destined, if not for greatness, at least success. Some were indeed successful but others flamed out early. There were others, of whom I expected little, who have done very well, successful and some perhaps even great. Over these decades many have disappeared from my view. Perhaps a "Do you remember____ from college?" will bring back a long forgotten name and person. This person may well be one of whom I've not thought for decades.
Garrison Keillor wrote, "The living wander away, we don't hear from them for months, years--but the dead move in with us to stay." It is so true that the living, some at least, wander away; many from my youth are gone away, there is one person from my 3 years in the USMC with whom I have contact, 50+ years later my seminary class is widely scattered with few with whom I'm in touch. Wandered away and no word from them...
"...but the dead move in with us to stay." This is but another 'take' on the presence of absence in the land of grief. Perhaps 'moving in with us to stay' is not true in all circumstances but it is very true when the deceased was significant in one's life. Certainly I hope that Joanne has 'moved in with me to stay', though the place she occupies feels less poignant now.
The reality, that the place is less poignant, while inevitable, also is unsettling. Should not her absence be as dramatic now as ever? Does this somehow devalue our relationship? While my head says one thing my heart says another. It is another of those paradoxes with which one must live.
Takk for alt,
Al
Garrison Keillor wrote, "The living wander away, we don't hear from them for months, years--but the dead move in with us to stay." It is so true that the living, some at least, wander away; many from my youth are gone away, there is one person from my 3 years in the USMC with whom I have contact, 50+ years later my seminary class is widely scattered with few with whom I'm in touch. Wandered away and no word from them...
"...but the dead move in with us to stay." This is but another 'take' on the presence of absence in the land of grief. Perhaps 'moving in with us to stay' is not true in all circumstances but it is very true when the deceased was significant in one's life. Certainly I hope that Joanne has 'moved in with me to stay', though the place she occupies feels less poignant now.
The reality, that the place is less poignant, while inevitable, also is unsettling. Should not her absence be as dramatic now as ever? Does this somehow devalue our relationship? While my head says one thing my heart says another. It is another of those paradoxes with which one must live.
Takk for alt,
Al
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