Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Jun 9, 2018
Joanne loved her recliner and it was good to her. In it she found comfort from her back discomfort and it helped ameliorate her chronic cough. Purchased when she was in a back brace, after one of her seven back surgeries, it became a place of comfort and refuge for her. Placed in front of a large screen TV she could follow Rachel and other favorite shows. It was matched by a twin recliner in the Little House On The Prairie, where she love to read. It stands unused since her death, with the African scarf from Aaron and Lisa draped over it and the Teddy Bear from Carol on the seat.
Recently I've begun reading again, a practice that was suspended during the hectic days of her illness and funeral events. For days after her burial I did not pick up a book. Something in me has shifted,so now I read again. Tonight I sat in my rocker, next to her recliner, reading, with the baseball game on and sound turned low. This is occupying "her" part of the house and the absence in that recliner was overwhelming.
The intensity of the presence of the absence varies by where I am in the house. It also varies with the messages I'd like to deliver. With good friends today, sharing moments and memories, it was hard to come home and not tell her. I know the exact parts of my story that would be of most interest to her...the awful presence of absence.
Blessings,
Al
Recently I've begun reading again, a practice that was suspended during the hectic days of her illness and funeral events. For days after her burial I did not pick up a book. Something in me has shifted,so now I read again. Tonight I sat in my rocker, next to her recliner, reading, with the baseball game on and sound turned low. This is occupying "her" part of the house and the absence in that recliner was overwhelming.
The intensity of the presence of the absence varies by where I am in the house. It also varies with the messages I'd like to deliver. With good friends today, sharing moments and memories, it was hard to come home and not tell her. I know the exact parts of my story that would be of most interest to her...the awful presence of absence.
Blessings,
Al
No comments:
Post a Comment