Journal entry by Al Negstad — a minute ago
One of my friends responded to last night's post, about writing so much about grief, via email, by saying he'd been called "Pastor Death" because he did so much teaching about it. 😀 Another friend wondered, via email, why I'm drawn to articles about grief; is it to learn or is it empathy? This I have to think about...but, perhaps some of each.
In his book Life's Final Season: A guide for Aging and Dying with Grace, Richard P. Holm, MD, tells of a patient in his 90's. This patient had sixteen debilitating medical conditions and was now approaching death. He writes, "I advised the family, especially grand and great-grandchildren, to all come and see him, hang out with him for awhile and try to bring some fun into his room. I thanked the daughters for the opportunity to care for him (and their mother) over the last twenty-five years. Two days later Mr X slipped away comfortably during the night. During those two days the nurses reported to me that the family filled the room with laughter, grandchildren played on his bed, the family sang hymns each night and, in the end there was joyful weeping.
"When filling out the death certificate, I dutifully listed dehydration and malnutrition with all the conditions listed (16 of them), but the best answer would have been, 'advanced senescence'.' In other words, almost every organ system as failing simultaneously due to advanced age." P. 273
What a beautiful story of accompaniment over his final days. Each year the school at which I teach in Thailand does a beautiful, all-school, farewell for me on my final day of teaching. When the festivities have concluded most of the teachers, and sometimes the entire student body, accompany me to the car that is waiting to carry me away! It's a powerful experience.
Joanne died at home in our condo. Pastor Mary, who is exceedingly wise, led a blessing of the body. When the attendants from the funeral home arrived to take Joanne away, Pastor Mary suggested we accompany her to the waiting hearse. So, we all walked with her down the hall, into the elevator, across the lobby, out to the parking lot until she lifted into the hearse. This memory continues to comfort me and I am grateful for Mary's wisdom.
Takk for alt,
Al
Pictures from the Thai school farewell.
In his book Life's Final Season: A guide for Aging and Dying with Grace, Richard P. Holm, MD, tells of a patient in his 90's. This patient had sixteen debilitating medical conditions and was now approaching death. He writes, "I advised the family, especially grand and great-grandchildren, to all come and see him, hang out with him for awhile and try to bring some fun into his room. I thanked the daughters for the opportunity to care for him (and their mother) over the last twenty-five years. Two days later Mr X slipped away comfortably during the night. During those two days the nurses reported to me that the family filled the room with laughter, grandchildren played on his bed, the family sang hymns each night and, in the end there was joyful weeping.
"When filling out the death certificate, I dutifully listed dehydration and malnutrition with all the conditions listed (16 of them), but the best answer would have been, 'advanced senescence'.' In other words, almost every organ system as failing simultaneously due to advanced age." P. 273
What a beautiful story of accompaniment over his final days. Each year the school at which I teach in Thailand does a beautiful, all-school, farewell for me on my final day of teaching. When the festivities have concluded most of the teachers, and sometimes the entire student body, accompany me to the car that is waiting to carry me away! It's a powerful experience.
Joanne died at home in our condo. Pastor Mary, who is exceedingly wise, led a blessing of the body. When the attendants from the funeral home arrived to take Joanne away, Pastor Mary suggested we accompany her to the waiting hearse. So, we all walked with her down the hall, into the elevator, across the lobby, out to the parking lot until she lifted into the hearse. This memory continues to comfort me and I am grateful for Mary's wisdom.
Takk for alt,
Al
Pictures from the Thai school farewell.
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