Thursday, February 14, 2019

2/14/2019 Caring Bridge

Journal entry by Al Negstad — a minute ago
Samakee Pakaran School at Wat Klang is a happy place.  Students interact with each other positively.  Teachers and staff like each other.  Students respect the teachers but are not intimidated. There is always a positive vibe.  The split between Buddhist and Muslim students is about two-thirds to one-third, and the same holds true for the staff.  In ten years here I've seen no evidence of any religious tension.  I've never seen any bullying.  Boys and girls seem to relate well.
    So what's the problem?  Teaching doesn't seem very important, in my opinion.  It's not just one thing causes me to think that.  Teachers are absent for a variety of reasons and spend much of their day away from their classrooms.  For example today, the student teacher who is teaching 5th grade, spent much of the morning in the office doing something the principal asked her to do.  The 4th grade teacher helped in 5th but had to leave her room to do it.  Teachers are often on their phones while they are in the classroom.  Students are frequently sent on errands out of the room during class time.  Teachers leave the building to buy food at food stands during the school day or they send students to do it for them.  Yesterday 6, students from the 6th grade spent significant time in the office transcribing on some project for the administration.  The principal will take students from their room to work on the compost bin.  With all of this happening it seems as teaching is an afterthought.  There is also the issue of unhelpful pedagogical methods.
     Perhaps it then comes as no surprise that this causes me internal dissonance.  Relating to both students and staff is very pleasant and rewarding, I really like them.  We enjoy each other's company.  But, I'm constantly troubled by all the evidence of a lackadaisical attitude toward teaching.  It just doesn't seem that teaching matters much and this bothers me.

    My shirt is festooned with Valentine stickers from the students.  They buy sheets of stickers and put them on each other.  Happy Valentines Day to you all!  This is the first Valentine Day since Joanne died.  With my pattern of teaching here each year we had not celebrated many Valentines Days together in the last several years.  In fact, I'd hardly thought about the day until I read a friend's post on Facebook which mentioned how long since his wife had died. That was an arrow to my heart and the arrow wasn't from cupid.  
    It was about this time a year ago that Joanne became symptomatic of the cancer that caused her death two months later.  A friend suggested to me that perhaps my time here is a vacation from grief.  That struck me as quite accurate.  Joanne and I emailed at least daily while I was away and I called her quite frequently.  Yet, she was not physically here, and I am simply not aware of the presence of absence in the same way as when I'm home.  This leads me to believe that I'll be struck with a profound sense of that presence of absence when I return.  One of the fun aspects of our joyous reunions was showing her what I had bought for her to give away.  Unpacking will not be much fun this time.

Blessings,

Al

The pictures are of the living area in the house shot from opposite corners of the room.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

we miss you mr.al - yulia ia aleena and juria

Anonymous said...

we miss you mr.al - yulia ia aleena and juria