Thursday, February 14, 2008

Shriveled Soul

The banker was correct and the ATM switched on in a couple of hours yesteday. My response was something else. Fascinating to see how quickly I switched into 'scarcity' thinking. In reality I have plenty of $$ to get by. But my anxiety didn't reflect that. It was noticable when I encountered my favorite beggars.
The area of the city where I stay is upscale. It makes it a good area for beggars so there are several but not a lot. There is a mother with three small children who camps out on the stairs to the Skytrain, elderly men and women in various places. One man inches along on his stomach pushing a coin cup in front of him. Someone has outfitted blind people with portable Karoke style music boxes. They walk the sidewalks singing traditional Thai songs. Near the Guesthouse are some severly crippled men. I enjoy making eye contact with them and exchanging pleasantries as I give them a few coins.
Suddenly, with the ATM problem, my soul shriveled and I began to think 'scarcity'. Could I afford to give to these folks? Of course, the reality is, I had pleanty to continue my giving even without the ATM. Ah, anxiety, now there's a gift that keeps on giving.
PS to my disposal of money from Laos; I saw the woman to whom I'd given the money at breakfast. It turns out she's a Peace Corps volunteer in Northern Thailand living on on $176. per mo so the ca. $20. I gave her was quite welcome.

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