Pandemic and the land of grief.

      He was in the Army and died in World War II. Buried next to him is his widow who lived 54 years after he died. They are among the 66,000 persons buried in St. Mary's Cemetery where I take my morning walk. The grief embodied in those 600 acres is almost palpable with markers for sons and daughters, wives and husbands...every stone a record of pain and loss.
     Now we occupy a world gripped by a pandemic that we were told would come someday. In the midst of it, losses mount. Grief abounds. The losses are well enumerated in this article from the Minneapolis StarTribune.

Whether it’s the loss of a job, a loved one or a sense of control, we need to face the pandemic-induced pileup of uncertainties.

By RACHEL HUTTON rachel.hutton@startribune.com

Therapists at the FamilyMeans Center for Grief & Loss in St. Paul have been inundated with calls. Many people seeking help are dealing with what psychologist Molly Ruggles describes as “a stacking up of losses without enough time and emotional space to move through those losses before another one comes along.”

The arrival of COVID-19 has brought with it layers of losses.

First and foremost, of course, is the rising death toll and the increasing number of people becoming ill. But there are also a wide range of losses unrelated to health, said Ruggles, the center’s assistant clinical director, naming several on an ever-growing list.

For people who have lost jobs, there’s a loss of financial security and loss of identity, she said. Those working from home can experience increased stress, too, especially if their kids are around. There’s also the loss of communities in the workplace, at school, at the gym, with faith organizations, and other groups. Then there’s the loss of freedom simply to go places and see people.

Our familiar routines have disappeared, along with the comfort that comes from knowing what to expect.

“This whole pandemic is a trauma and lot of little traumas,” she said. “And what that does to us, psychologically, is that it really shatters what people’s worldview was before this all happened.”

People whose lives were generally predictable, and who felt the world was a comprehensible, benevolent place, have had those beliefs upended.

“For lots of people, that opens up a lot of anxiety and fear and uncertainty and feeling paralyzed on how to cope,” Ruggles said.

    THE LAND OF GRIEF:   If we didn't before, we all live it in now. What do we know about living in it?  1. Stay in relationship. 2. Name the losses. 3. Help others. 4. Maintain spiritual practices. 5. Exercise. 6. Be kind to yourself. 7. Look for humor.  8. Practice gratitude.

Takk for alt,

Al