Thursday, July 5, 2018

7/1/2018 Caring Bridge

Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Jul 1, 2018
    "You are dust and to dust you shall return."  How many time have I said that as I imposed ashes on someone's forehead?  "Dust to dust, ashes to ashes" I've said countless times at committals at cemeterys in four states.
    A common saw has it that a psychotic is one who doesn't know reality and a neuroritic is one who knows reality but it makes him/her angry.  OK, so I'm neurotic! 
    There are WEEDS growing on Joanne's grave!  Yes there is new grass, too, but WEEDS.  What do they think they are doing?  The nerve of them!
    It is the weeds that make me think of "dust to dust."  My head knows the truth about absence but my heart rebells against reality.  Angry, I want to deny the truth, stop time, and go back to how we once were.
    A very perceptive friend asked in reference to yesterday's post about feeling uneasy.  She asked "are you feeling survivor's guilt?"   Could that be inolved in my unease?  Pondering......

Blessings,

Al

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