Journal entry by Al Negstad — 34 minutes ago
Life is good which goes a long way to explaining grief because grief is reaction to loss of something valued in this life. Perhaps one more quote from Nicholas Wolterstorff is appropriate in this consideration of grief.
"It is this irrationality at the heart of grief that leads people who are not personally acquainted with grief to say to the person in grief such things as, 'No use crying over spilt milk.' 'You can't bring him back.' It is this same irrationality at the heart of grief that leads many in our society to regard the person in grief as needing therapy or counseling. Some grieving persons do need therapy because their grief is pathological. But grief is not pathological as such. If you are attached to your child, you will feel grief upon learning of his or her death. This is not pathology; this is human nature.
"How was I to live with this strange and painful intruder--grief? I was well aware that a common way of dealing with grief in our society, perhaps the most common way, is to try to disown one's grief. Note the language we use: 'putting it behind you,' 'getting on with things,' getting on with your life.' This is the language of disowning....I felt intuitively that to disown my grief would have be to live a lie. It would be to declare, implicitly, that Eric's death was not an evil, or that my love of him was not a good." Nicholas Wolterstorff Grief speaks the truth,January 16, 2019, Christian Century p. 28.
Grieving Joanne's death will be my reality as long as I am cognizant. Like Wolterstorff I recognized that any denial was counterproductive. Likely there were those who thought I was wallowing in grief. Yet, as I regain myself, I credit that approach of plunging into grief without denial or avoidance, for much of my recovery. Of course I did not recover on my own but in a great company of saints who bore me up in love.
Blessings,
Al
"It is this irrationality at the heart of grief that leads people who are not personally acquainted with grief to say to the person in grief such things as, 'No use crying over spilt milk.' 'You can't bring him back.' It is this same irrationality at the heart of grief that leads many in our society to regard the person in grief as needing therapy or counseling. Some grieving persons do need therapy because their grief is pathological. But grief is not pathological as such. If you are attached to your child, you will feel grief upon learning of his or her death. This is not pathology; this is human nature.
"How was I to live with this strange and painful intruder--grief? I was well aware that a common way of dealing with grief in our society, perhaps the most common way, is to try to disown one's grief. Note the language we use: 'putting it behind you,' 'getting on with things,' getting on with your life.' This is the language of disowning....I felt intuitively that to disown my grief would have be to live a lie. It would be to declare, implicitly, that Eric's death was not an evil, or that my love of him was not a good." Nicholas Wolterstorff Grief speaks the truth,January 16, 2019, Christian Century p. 28.
Grieving Joanne's death will be my reality as long as I am cognizant. Like Wolterstorff I recognized that any denial was counterproductive. Likely there were those who thought I was wallowing in grief. Yet, as I regain myself, I credit that approach of plunging into grief without denial or avoidance, for much of my recovery. Of course I did not recover on my own but in a great company of saints who bore me up in love.
Blessings,
Al
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