"When someone to whom we are attached dies or is destroyed, we are cast into grief. That tells us when grief befalls us, not what the thing itself is. Grief, I have come to think, is wanting the death or destruction of the loved one to be undone, while at the same time knowing it cannot be undone. Grief is wanting the loved one back when one knows he can't come back. Tears and agitation are typical expressions of grief, but they are not the thing itself. My grief was wanting intensely for Eric to be alive when I knew that could not be." Nicholas Wolterstorff, Grief speaks the truth in the January 16, 2019 Christian Century p. 27.
Is this not an accurate definition of grief? Yes, I want Joanne back but after witnessing her death and seeing her in the coffin there is no denying that she will not be coming back. Like it or not the absence is real.
She was in my dream again last night. We were going someplace, she was driving and had turned off the car's air conditioning while I was complaining of the heat. This is a total reversal of our life experience, where she was always too hot and I too cold. If there's some deep significance to be found in this dream it escapes me.
Blessings,
Al
No comments:
Post a Comment