Journal entry by Al Negstad — 42 minutes ago
What has brought me the healing that is obvious to me, I wonder, as I contemplate the anniversary of Joanne's death tomorrow? The old saying "time heals all wounds" doesn't ring true for me. One of my friends went into deep depression when his wife died, a depression which required counseling to conquer. Time alone was not healing for him.
Regular readers of this column will know that I often reference the sustenance of family and friends. Their presence and support has been critical, particularly because they were willing to travel with me in the land of grief. They did not encourage denial and avoidance. Which suggests to me that, a willingness to plunge fully into grieving, turned out to be a good move.
It is fascinating to me that, while living this year in the land of grief, I seldom was depressed. As proof of my lack of depression I offer as evidence; little struggle to accomplish tasks, sleeping well, getting up from bed easily, showering regularly, neither binge eating nor an inability to eat, not feeling discouraged, able to maintain relationships, keeping the condo neat and tidy, good short term memory....OK, so I missed a flight to Australia, but that was a miscalculation of when the new day began around midnight...,etc. While profoundly sad, I haven't been depressed.
Routine, for me, before and after Joanne's death has been very similar. Likely that has also contributed to recovery. What I do now is almost the same, minus Joanne care, as I did before she died. That familiar routine has helped sustain me. Good nutrition and regular exercise has likely also helped.
Keeping this blog has also been therapeutic for two reasons. First, it has required that I get in touch with my feelings well enough to articulate them This is not something that has come naturally to me. Joanne was a great aid in mentoring me to articulate feelings. Second, being public has invited fellow travelers in this land of grief to accompany me. Their companionship, comments, encouragement, posts, hearts and presence has always assured me that I am not alone. Not only do many grieve Joanne's death but their openness about their other griefs remind me that "no man is an island" and I certainly am not. Evidence of this 'cloud of witnesses' is that there have been 98,700, hits on this site.🙏
Tomorrow will be an emotional day, as it should. Joanne is gone and I deeply miss her, and the day will be a powerful reminder of her loss. I neither want to forget her nor do I want her forgotten. We'll gather, remember and give thanks for her.
Blessings,
Al
Regular readers of this column will know that I often reference the sustenance of family and friends. Their presence and support has been critical, particularly because they were willing to travel with me in the land of grief. They did not encourage denial and avoidance. Which suggests to me that, a willingness to plunge fully into grieving, turned out to be a good move.
It is fascinating to me that, while living this year in the land of grief, I seldom was depressed. As proof of my lack of depression I offer as evidence; little struggle to accomplish tasks, sleeping well, getting up from bed easily, showering regularly, neither binge eating nor an inability to eat, not feeling discouraged, able to maintain relationships, keeping the condo neat and tidy, good short term memory....OK, so I missed a flight to Australia, but that was a miscalculation of when the new day began around midnight...,etc. While profoundly sad, I haven't been depressed.
Routine, for me, before and after Joanne's death has been very similar. Likely that has also contributed to recovery. What I do now is almost the same, minus Joanne care, as I did before she died. That familiar routine has helped sustain me. Good nutrition and regular exercise has likely also helped.
Keeping this blog has also been therapeutic for two reasons. First, it has required that I get in touch with my feelings well enough to articulate them This is not something that has come naturally to me. Joanne was a great aid in mentoring me to articulate feelings. Second, being public has invited fellow travelers in this land of grief to accompany me. Their companionship, comments, encouragement, posts, hearts and presence has always assured me that I am not alone. Not only do many grieve Joanne's death but their openness about their other griefs remind me that "no man is an island" and I certainly am not. Evidence of this 'cloud of witnesses' is that there have been 98,700, hits on this site.🙏
Tomorrow will be an emotional day, as it should. Joanne is gone and I deeply miss her, and the day will be a powerful reminder of her loss. I neither want to forget her nor do I want her forgotten. We'll gather, remember and give thanks for her.
Blessings,
Al
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