Journal entry by Al Negstad — a minute ago
Individuality is a paradox and the inevitable cause of loneliness. Mature, differentiated adults are of necessity lonely as they assume responsibility for self. The other option is fusion with another but then they are neither mature nor differentiated.
Frederich Buechner wrote his book The Hungering Dark this, which was quoted in the February 29, 2019 Christian Century p. 21.
"'No man is an island.' But there is another truth, the sister of this one, and it is that every man is an island....We sit in silence with one another, each of us more or less reluctant to speak, for fear that if he does, he may sound like a fool. And beneath that there is of course the deeper fear, which is really a fear of the self rather than of the other, that maybe the truth of it is that indeed he is a fool....The paradox is that part of which binds us closest together as human beings and makes it true that no man is an island is the knowledge that in another way every man is an island. Because to know this is to know that not only deep in you is there a self that longs above all to be known and accepted, but that there is also such a self in me, in everyone else the world over....Island calls to island across the silence, and once in trust, the real words come, a bridge is built and love is done--not sentimental, emotional love, but love that is pontifex, bridge builder. Love that speaks the holy and healing word which is: God be with you, stranger who are no stranger. I wish you well. The islands become an archipelago, a continent, become a kingdom whose name is the Kingdom of God."
Even in the time Joanne and I were number one for each other we remained individuals ultimately responsible for self. We spoke those healing words to each other and formed a bridge. That bridge is now altered and I must remain an adult whose life is lived in the land of grief. Still I celebrate the years we had together and I also celebrate the many who continue to speak the holy and healing word to me.
Blessings,
Al
Picture: Joanne enjoying lutefisk wrapped in lefse.
Frederich Buechner wrote his book The Hungering Dark this, which was quoted in the February 29, 2019 Christian Century p. 21.
"'No man is an island.' But there is another truth, the sister of this one, and it is that every man is an island....We sit in silence with one another, each of us more or less reluctant to speak, for fear that if he does, he may sound like a fool. And beneath that there is of course the deeper fear, which is really a fear of the self rather than of the other, that maybe the truth of it is that indeed he is a fool....The paradox is that part of which binds us closest together as human beings and makes it true that no man is an island is the knowledge that in another way every man is an island. Because to know this is to know that not only deep in you is there a self that longs above all to be known and accepted, but that there is also such a self in me, in everyone else the world over....Island calls to island across the silence, and once in trust, the real words come, a bridge is built and love is done--not sentimental, emotional love, but love that is pontifex, bridge builder. Love that speaks the holy and healing word which is: God be with you, stranger who are no stranger. I wish you well. The islands become an archipelago, a continent, become a kingdom whose name is the Kingdom of God."
Even in the time Joanne and I were number one for each other we remained individuals ultimately responsible for self. We spoke those healing words to each other and formed a bridge. That bridge is now altered and I must remain an adult whose life is lived in the land of grief. Still I celebrate the years we had together and I also celebrate the many who continue to speak the holy and healing word to me.
Blessings,
Al
Picture: Joanne enjoying lutefisk wrapped in lefse.
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