Journal entry by Al Negstad — 32 minutes ago
When he rode by our farm on his big 1951, Indian Motorcycle and I was in my early teens, I was so jealous. V died recently and at his funeral there was a picture of that motorcycle pinned to the bulletin board. V's farm was a few miles from ours and once I saw him go by with three passengers aboard. His little brother said he remembers riding with V, 80, miles an hour on gravel. V is fortunate he lived to age 89.
At the visitation I chatted with V's cousin J, with whom I went to high school, J being one grade ahead of me. J's wife died two years ago and, though J lives in St. Paul, his wife is buried in the same cemetery in South Dakota as is Joanne. When widowers meet conversation can quickly turn to the comparing of notes on loss and grief. J reported that he's clearing out the house in which he's lived for 42 years and, while he has the help of a daughter, his wife cannot aid in the process.
While feeling compassion for J, at the same time I breathed a silent "thank you, Joanne." She was the one who prompted our move from our house in Golden Valley to this downtown condo over ten years ago. Our house was a split foyer which meant many steps. Initially I resisted the idea because I really liked the house. But, as so often was the case, she was right, and I am grateful. We did the sorting and downsizing together. Of course it was a huge job but I've never missed the house. The neighbors, yes, but the house no. The neighborhood book club lets me continue to participate so I still get to see the people.
A comment posted after I mentioned curiosity about the other "Lamps on the path."
"3. Deal with guilt, real or imagined. You did the best you could at the time. If you made mistakes, accept the fact that you, like everyone else, are not perfect. Only hindsight is 20-20. If you continue to blame yourself, consider professional or religious counseling. If you believe in god, a pastor can help you believe also in God's forgiveness."
"4. Keep busy. Do work that has purpose. Use your mind."
I'll post more "lamps' later.
Blessings,
Al
Joanne pictured with her siblings.
At the visitation I chatted with V's cousin J, with whom I went to high school, J being one grade ahead of me. J's wife died two years ago and, though J lives in St. Paul, his wife is buried in the same cemetery in South Dakota as is Joanne. When widowers meet conversation can quickly turn to the comparing of notes on loss and grief. J reported that he's clearing out the house in which he's lived for 42 years and, while he has the help of a daughter, his wife cannot aid in the process.
While feeling compassion for J, at the same time I breathed a silent "thank you, Joanne." She was the one who prompted our move from our house in Golden Valley to this downtown condo over ten years ago. Our house was a split foyer which meant many steps. Initially I resisted the idea because I really liked the house. But, as so often was the case, she was right, and I am grateful. We did the sorting and downsizing together. Of course it was a huge job but I've never missed the house. The neighbors, yes, but the house no. The neighborhood book club lets me continue to participate so I still get to see the people.
A comment posted after I mentioned curiosity about the other "Lamps on the path."
"3. Deal with guilt, real or imagined. You did the best you could at the time. If you made mistakes, accept the fact that you, like everyone else, are not perfect. Only hindsight is 20-20. If you continue to blame yourself, consider professional or religious counseling. If you believe in god, a pastor can help you believe also in God's forgiveness."
"4. Keep busy. Do work that has purpose. Use your mind."
I'll post more "lamps' later.
Blessings,
Al
Joanne pictured with her siblings.
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