Journal entry by Al Negstad — a minute ago
"Many stories matter. Stories have been used to dispossess and malign. (Al's parenthetical comment: Many stories told about immigrants would fall into this category.) But stories can also be used to empower and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people. But stories can also repair that broken dignity." Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Nigerian author.
Our dinner host had this quote printed out for each of the guests as a lead in to a fascinating discussion of my posts on this site. Last night's post about the faithfulness of my friends led the guests to tell stories of bereaved persons isolated in their bereavement as they were ignored by friends. T said "One of the gifts of reading your posts is that, when I see you, I don't have to ask 'how are you doing' because I already know." That's an aspect I'd not considered.
In the discussion I referenced Karen Blixen's statement, which I've often quoted here, "Any grief can be bourne if you tell a story about it." It wasn't my 'dignity' that was broken, it was my heart, but I think this story telling has been a significant factor in the healing of it. These public stories have brought out the compassion of readers who have been my faithful companions in the land of grief. In many ways 'my grief' has been 'our grief' and that is a gift.
Two more "Lamps on the Path" from Jensen's booklet on grief.
"9. Associate with old friends also. Some will be uneasy, but they will get over it. If and when you can, talk and act naturally, without avoiding the subject of your loss."
"10. Postpone major decisions. Wait before deciding whether or not to sell your house or to change jobs."
Blessings,
Al
Pictured; Joanne with her siblings and their spouses.
Our dinner host had this quote printed out for each of the guests as a lead in to a fascinating discussion of my posts on this site. Last night's post about the faithfulness of my friends led the guests to tell stories of bereaved persons isolated in their bereavement as they were ignored by friends. T said "One of the gifts of reading your posts is that, when I see you, I don't have to ask 'how are you doing' because I already know." That's an aspect I'd not considered.
In the discussion I referenced Karen Blixen's statement, which I've often quoted here, "Any grief can be bourne if you tell a story about it." It wasn't my 'dignity' that was broken, it was my heart, but I think this story telling has been a significant factor in the healing of it. These public stories have brought out the compassion of readers who have been my faithful companions in the land of grief. In many ways 'my grief' has been 'our grief' and that is a gift.
Two more "Lamps on the Path" from Jensen's booklet on grief.
"9. Associate with old friends also. Some will be uneasy, but they will get over it. If and when you can, talk and act naturally, without avoiding the subject of your loss."
"10. Postpone major decisions. Wait before deciding whether or not to sell your house or to change jobs."
Blessings,
Al
Pictured; Joanne with her siblings and their spouses.
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