Four and a half years ago, around the death of Joanne, grief was a constant theme of this blog. Asked about that experience I would say blogging was very helpful for two reasons. First, blogging forced me to identify what I was feeling. That's not the easiest thing for this typical male. Identifying my feelings was a significant part of healing.
Second, blogging created a virtual community. Many readers knew and loved Joanne. Others made her aquaintance through the writings. A friend said "When I see you I don't have to ask how you are because I read your blog." It was relationships with family and friends who carried me through those darkest days. Often I've said that grief moved from feeling like a knife in the ribs to a dull ache as the land of grief is traversed.
Where does grief go? Is it hiding under the bed, or in a closet? Is grief hovering overhead, or glued to one's back like a kick me sign? Have you ever stopped to wonder where grief goes when one "moves on?" Perhaps it's someplace low becaue the person grieving is supposed to "just get over it." Maybe grief is a condition like arthritis which is carried in the body flaring with pain at some trigger.
One of those friends who helped carry me trough the hardest days and beyond saves newspaper clippings for me. MJV finds fascinating editorial articles and news clippings. Her latest care package included an editorial, Remembering a lost friend, Kurt Ullrich, he wrote. "...a little over a year ago an old man took up residence in my heart. Now he's gone, gone to join his beloved wife, herself gone these many years and one day I will join mine. We cried over our losses. I still do, and now I cry over the loss of an elegant man who was my friend, a friend I loved."
Where does grief go? It goes nowhere it just lurks inside waiting for something to trigger it; a song, a smell, a place, etc., to remind of its presence and our loss.
Takk for alt,
Al
PS A pop-up thunder shower brought .25" rain at dinner time last night. 😃
Rollie and I have been friends since 1964, here seen speaking at our 50th wedding anniversary event. Rollie turns 80 in a few days.
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