Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Jun 8, 2018
This quote spoke to me today "My life was suddenly divided into BEFORE and AFTER, and there was no gong back to BEFORE. But then I realized I had a choice to live the AFTER. I had to decide." Brenda Neal.
Of course there was life before Joanne. A life in which I struggled to achieve a degree of maturity. Many memories of those early years stay with me. Gratefully, I'd achieved enough maturity that Joanne wasn't frightened away when we met.
But, now I'm living the AFTER, in which I'm always aware that I'm now experiencing the sadness of not being able to share as I did BEFORE. It's the presence of absence again, joined to the reality that this is the new norm. The continued absence remains surreal. How could fifty plus years of marriage be over?
Deciding to live the AFTER has been made easier by the community of the bereaved, all who mourn her death. Family, friends, acquaintances envelope me in an embrace that assumes that the choice is to live AFTER. Yet, I grieve the loss of BEFORE.
Blessings,
al
Of course there was life before Joanne. A life in which I struggled to achieve a degree of maturity. Many memories of those early years stay with me. Gratefully, I'd achieved enough maturity that Joanne wasn't frightened away when we met.
But, now I'm living the AFTER, in which I'm always aware that I'm now experiencing the sadness of not being able to share as I did BEFORE. It's the presence of absence again, joined to the reality that this is the new norm. The continued absence remains surreal. How could fifty plus years of marriage be over?
Deciding to live the AFTER has been made easier by the community of the bereaved, all who mourn her death. Family, friends, acquaintances envelope me in an embrace that assumes that the choice is to live AFTER. Yet, I grieve the loss of BEFORE.
Blessings,
al
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