Sometimes I'm surprised by how much sadness has receded into the background even as I pedal through the land of grief. Spending a weekend with Lisa, and Lars' youngest daughter, Sella, was delightful. At 8, Sella is a trooper and very good company. Bird watching, feeding the neighborhood critters, spending time at the cemetery, riding bike, playing games, coloring were all so much fun.
The fun of the weekend reminded me of what I've lost by not being able to spend an evening a week with the girls. Then, also, it was exactly the kind of time that Joanne would have reveled in, and she missed it and all the other delights of seeing the girls grow and blossom. Joanne was totally delighted in being a grandma...and now she's already missed over two years of grandma experience.
It is that reality of life in the land of grief that the happy, delightful times are shot through with the sense of loss. It creates for me a feeling of sadness and melancholy that blessedly are more rare than in those early days in the depths of grief. Blessing and loss mingle together in strange ways.
Takk for alt,
Al
Sweet!
3 comments:
Okay, let's try to post a comment here. What a wonderful post, owing that emotions - as well as so many ideas and experiences - hold the creative tension of two or more very different, apparently conflicting experiences. For me, it is so often NOT either/or BUT both/and.
Blessings, this and every day,
Marilyn
I hear this, Al. This is how I feel when I see my granddaughter beginning her senior year in high school with her father not here to enjoy seeing his beloved child growing into a young adult,
I hear this, Al. Those are my feelings as I see my granddaughter beginning her senior year in high school without her dad here to enjoy being a part of her growth into a strong and wise young adult.
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