Shaking Hands...

 Pádraig Ó Tuama

Shaking Hands

Because what’s the alternative?
Because of courage.
Because of loved ones lost.
Because no more.
Because it’s a small thing; shaking hands; it happens every day.
Because I heard of one man whose hands haven’t stopped shaking since a market day in Omagh.
Because it takes a second to say hate, but it takes longer, much longer, to be a great leader.
Much, much longer.

Because shared space without human touching doesn’t amount to much.
Because it’s easier to speak to your own than to hold the hand of someone whose side has been previously described, proscribed, denied.
Because it is tough.
Because it is tough.
Because it is meant to be tough, and this is the stuff of memory, the stuff of hope, the stuff of gesture, and meaning and leading.
Because it has taken so, so long.
Because it has taken land and money and languages and barrels and barrels of blood.

Because lives have been lost.
Because lives have been taken.

Because to be bereaved is to be troubled by grief.
Because more than two troubled peoples live here.
Because I know a woman whose hand hasn’t been shaken since she was a man.
Because shaking a hand is only a part of the start.
Because I know a woman whose touch calmed a man whose heart was breaking.
Because privilege is not to be taken lightly.

Because this just might be good.
Because who said that this would be easy?
Because some people love what you stand for, and for some, if you can, they can.
Because solidarity means a common hand.
Because a hand is only a hand; so hang onto it.

So join your much discussed hands.
We need this; for one small second.
So touch.
So lead.

Pádraig Ó Tuama is leader of the Corrymeela Community, a poet, theologian and mediator. He has worked in conflict resolution in Ireland, Africa and the Middle East.

"Because it takes a second to say hate, but it takes longer, much longer, to be a great leader.
Much, much longer."

     It's been a long time since I've shaken hands with anyone.  The students in "my" Thai school know that Americans shake hands so they would line up to shake hands with me. I much prefer the Asian wai 🙏. Every teacher would wai me the first time we met each day. If I forgot that I'd seen her and would initiate a wai at a later meeting she'd embarrassedly wave me off. Shaking multiple sweaty hands throughout the day wasn't pleasant to I taught the students to fist bump. This was very amusing to students and teachers alike.

     Do I miss shaking hands now? Not so much but I miss what it represents. Tuama writes "...it takes a second to hate." There's a good test for ourselves and others "Does it serve love?"  Or "is it in the service of hate?"  We join hands if only figuratively.

Takk for alt,

Al

                                A picture of 6th grade from "my" Thai school.