MY MOTTO
Several years ago I attended
some kind of educational event in which we were directed to write our personal
mission statement. Dow Chemical’s “Better Living Through Chemistry” always struck
me as the epitome of mission statements. (Let’s ignore any thoughts about the
company.) Easy to remember, brief, and it accurately summed up what the company
was to be about.
Giving the Dow Chemicals
statement a twist I declared my mission statement, i.e., motto, “Better Living
Through Truth.” It harks back to my childhood in a family given to indirect
speech with roots in a Scandinavian culture of more innuendo than clear
communication. Perhaps generations of Norwegians living in close proximity to
each other in smaller, isolated communities developed this pattern of speech to
avoid alienating neighbors with whom they had to live. If a person came right
out and clearly stated an idea or opinion they could not evade the
consequences. However, if they said it obliquely they would always leave room
for deniability. “Oh, that’s not what I meant.”
As the youngest of four
children likely there was motivation for me in blurting things out because at
least I’d be noticed. There were times when I played the role of the child who
said “Look, the emperor has no clothes.” “Say what you mean and mean what you
say!” I do remember thinking as a child “why don’t they just say it?” Many
times I’d get fed up and just say it.
The challenge for me as an
adult has been to temper my directness. Abundant surprise and uncomfortable
responses from others has taught me to be more circumspect. Just because I
think something I don’t have to say it. There are kind and gentle ways to be
honest and direct.
Something has equipped me to
be keenly aware of what is happening in human interactions that involve me or
that I observe with others. Often it is helpful to honestly name what I see.
However, that is best done in the context of trusting relationships. That
naming is most effective when it is not accompanied by a sense of judgment and
done without anxiety or anger. For me, this is a work in progress.
Better Living Through Truth.
How well do I live this out? Imperfectly at best but perhaps it’s best to leave
the evaluation to others. It is a goal towards which I strive.
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