Journal entry by Al Negstad — a minute ago
Life is lonely. To be a fully functioning, differentiated adult means one must take responsibility for oneself. One of my favorite statements is "We all make choices." Of course I sometimes use this judgmentally. But, it is true, we must make choices and when we do it's only right that we take responsibility for those choices. That's the crux of our loneliness. There is no one else to whom we can shift the responsibility. Fusion with another is a temptation but then we are not fully functional nor differentiated. So, we must stand alone.
Joanne's death is a stark reminder that as an adult I stand alone. So, what have I lost? I have lost one who loves me, who stood with me as I attempted be that fully functioning adult, who gave me wise consult, and forgave the times I went off track. The loss of her exacerbates my loneliness. Without her gifts I feel the weight of responsibility. It's not always fun to be an adult.
Yes, you're right, I'm feeling lonely tonight and the acute presence of absence.
Blessings,
Al
Joanne's death is a stark reminder that as an adult I stand alone. So, what have I lost? I have lost one who loves me, who stood with me as I attempted be that fully functioning adult, who gave me wise consult, and forgave the times I went off track. The loss of her exacerbates my loneliness. Without her gifts I feel the weight of responsibility. It's not always fun to be an adult.
Yes, you're right, I'm feeling lonely tonight and the acute presence of absence.
Blessings,
Al
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