Journal entry by Al Negstad — 1 hour ago
Joanne is less on my mind these days and I find that unsettling, while at the same time, I know it is probably normal. When I do think of her the sadness is still present. Today, I was sharing with my spiritual director my discomfort at 'leaving Joanne behind.' She responded, "Joanne is just with you in a new way, you can't leave her behind."
When she said that I recognized a valuable perspective which, I suspect, will be of significant help in the land of grief. Perhaps my experience is a bit of survivors guilt. Why should I be allowed meaningful experiences that Joanne is not present to share? Is my current life some how disloyal to her? Thinking that she is with me, but in a new way, gives me hope.
It will take time and reflection to integrate this perspective. The learning curve in the land of grief has come as a bit of surprise to me. Yes, I know, naive of me. There is so much to think about and also much to learn. In the midst of the sadness I am grateful for so many and so much.
Blessings.
Al
Picture: Joanne's birthday dinner on Easter Sunday.
When she said that I recognized a valuable perspective which, I suspect, will be of significant help in the land of grief. Perhaps my experience is a bit of survivors guilt. Why should I be allowed meaningful experiences that Joanne is not present to share? Is my current life some how disloyal to her? Thinking that she is with me, but in a new way, gives me hope.
It will take time and reflection to integrate this perspective. The learning curve in the land of grief has come as a bit of surprise to me. Yes, I know, naive of me. There is so much to think about and also much to learn. In the midst of the sadness I am grateful for so many and so much.
Blessings.
Al
Picture: Joanne's birthday dinner on Easter Sunday.
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