Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — a minute ago
You know the old adage about not seeing the forest for the trees? That's my situation in relationship to my grief. Where am I in the process? What's different now from a few months ago? How am I changing? I'm not in a good position to know. So enter friends, and one who knows me well, and has walked with me through this whole experience, in an email today, shared this perspective.
" I see you moving gently and intentionally into a new way of being. I would compare it to traveling; you entered the land of grief, you didn't want to be there, it was never on your bucket list, but you got dumped in the land of grief. You could be bitter, depressed, angry, etc., but your emotional maturity/differentiation says let's explore this land of grief, instead. So you started to explore grief thorough your CB posts. Since you can't leave grief land you are accepting this new home and establishing yourself. This settling in includes, establishing the condo as your home, teaching, traveling, being social, etc., and establishing new norms. I'm guessing there will be times you will resent being in grief land, but your maturity/differentiation says 'I don't like it but her I am let's make it work'. The grief is still real but the vessel you hold the grief in is getting bigger."
There are several things I like about this observation. First. I like the metaphor (?) of 'the land of grief'. That's an image to remember. The idea of exploring my grief via CB posts rings true to me. Then there is the final sentence, "The grief is still real but the vessel you hold the grief in is getting bigger." One of the best things about me is my friends and this is a perfect illustration of that sentiment!
Blessings,
Al
" I see you moving gently and intentionally into a new way of being. I would compare it to traveling; you entered the land of grief, you didn't want to be there, it was never on your bucket list, but you got dumped in the land of grief. You could be bitter, depressed, angry, etc., but your emotional maturity/differentiation says let's explore this land of grief, instead. So you started to explore grief thorough your CB posts. Since you can't leave grief land you are accepting this new home and establishing yourself. This settling in includes, establishing the condo as your home, teaching, traveling, being social, etc., and establishing new norms. I'm guessing there will be times you will resent being in grief land, but your maturity/differentiation says 'I don't like it but her I am let's make it work'. The grief is still real but the vessel you hold the grief in is getting bigger."
There are several things I like about this observation. First. I like the metaphor (?) of 'the land of grief'. That's an image to remember. The idea of exploring my grief via CB posts rings true to me. Then there is the final sentence, "The grief is still real but the vessel you hold the grief in is getting bigger." One of the best things about me is my friends and this is a perfect illustration of that sentiment!
Blessings,
Al
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