Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Aug 7, 2018
In Richard Wagamese' novel, Indian Horse, the main charcter, Saul, finally returns, to what he knew as home. He had travelled far and experienced many difficulties. Returning home was part of his healing process. When he finds it satisfying to be home Wagamese writes, "I understood then that when you miss a thing it leaves a hole that only the thing you miss can fill." p. 219
This resonates with what someone said to me "death leaves a hole in your heart which never fully heals" and seems true. "...when you miss a thing (person) it leaves a hole that only the thing (person) you miss can fill." The intensity of the pain, the missing, the absence comes, in part, from the permanence of the loss, the finality of death. Wish as I may, she's not coming back.
So, I live with this dichotomy; on the one hand there is much I enjoy, family, friends, activities, while on the other hand lurks this unfillable hole in my heart. It's just a little over a year ago that Joanne was diagnosed with uterine cancer. After radiation treatment she was declared "cancer free." Now it is almost four months since she died. Fifty four years of marriage and then...........
Blessings,
al
This resonates with what someone said to me "death leaves a hole in your heart which never fully heals" and seems true. "...when you miss a thing (person) it leaves a hole that only the thing (person) you miss can fill." The intensity of the pain, the missing, the absence comes, in part, from the permanence of the loss, the finality of death. Wish as I may, she's not coming back.
So, I live with this dichotomy; on the one hand there is much I enjoy, family, friends, activities, while on the other hand lurks this unfillable hole in my heart. It's just a little over a year ago that Joanne was diagnosed with uterine cancer. After radiation treatment she was declared "cancer free." Now it is almost four months since she died. Fifty four years of marriage and then...........
Blessings,
al
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