Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Jul 31, 2018
Tonight I was reading in Joanne's end of the room, using the rocker next to her recliner. With the TV on to the Twins ballgame, sound down low, I was reading the novel I referred to last night. Putting my book down I gazed at the china cabinet i9n front of me. It's filled with beautiful things; awards, gifts, figurines, candle holders, vases, bowls, crystal, and cut glass.
Seeing these objects caused me to think of my mother. She lived alone in her house for 20 years after my father died. She died in 1989, a few weeks before her 90th birthday. When I'd come to visit her I would notice that some objects had disappeared. When I'd ask her about the missing item she'd say "Oh, so and so was here and they liked it so I sent it home with him/her." It was beautiful, she had the joy of giving. If there were things she still needed, she'd write someone's name on masking tape and attach to the item, so they could claim it when she died.
With mother's model in mind I'd hoped that Joanne would give many things away before she died. She dies quickly and did give some things away but that wasn't her focus. Consequently I have many beautiful objects...way more than I need.
Even as I reflected on their beauty in that cabinet I thought "stuff"...I have all this "stuff" I don't need. Once again I circle back to the major revelation of my bereavement; LIFE IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS! Now I have to try to figure out, how I can use these beautiful things...this "stuff"...to enhance relationships?
Blessings,
Al
Seeing these objects caused me to think of my mother. She lived alone in her house for 20 years after my father died. She died in 1989, a few weeks before her 90th birthday. When I'd come to visit her I would notice that some objects had disappeared. When I'd ask her about the missing item she'd say "Oh, so and so was here and they liked it so I sent it home with him/her." It was beautiful, she had the joy of giving. If there were things she still needed, she'd write someone's name on masking tape and attach to the item, so they could claim it when she died.
With mother's model in mind I'd hoped that Joanne would give many things away before she died. She dies quickly and did give some things away but that wasn't her focus. Consequently I have many beautiful objects...way more than I need.
Even as I reflected on their beauty in that cabinet I thought "stuff"...I have all this "stuff" I don't need. Once again I circle back to the major revelation of my bereavement; LIFE IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS! Now I have to try to figure out, how I can use these beautiful things...this "stuff"...to enhance relationships?
Blessings,
Al
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