Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — a minute ago
“For in grief nothing "stays put." One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?
But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?
How often -- will it be for always? -- how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, "I never realized my loss till this moment"? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
― C. S Lewis, A Grief Observed
Lewis describes my experience in the four months since Joanne died. Daily tasks and experiences, most of them good and satisfying, fill my days. Good conversations, farm duties, good books, driving back and forth from SD, etc., when suddenly the presence of absence grabs me as if for the first time. It seems I'm right back where this all started, a circle? a spiral? up? down? How many times can the same leg be amputated?
Blessings,
Al
But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?
How often -- will it be for always? -- how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, "I never realized my loss till this moment"? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
― C. S Lewis, A Grief Observed
Lewis describes my experience in the four months since Joanne died. Daily tasks and experiences, most of them good and satisfying, fill my days. Good conversations, farm duties, good books, driving back and forth from SD, etc., when suddenly the presence of absence grabs me as if for the first time. It seems I'm right back where this all started, a circle? a spiral? up? down? How many times can the same leg be amputated?
Blessings,
Al
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