Another perspective on grief.

   Well wouldn't you know! Here's another Tom'ism....perhaps he should be writing this blog!  Returning home tonight from a delightful evening with long time friends...she knew Joanne before I did...I re-read this poem Tom had forwarded to me some days ago.  Commenting on it seems pointless because it so eloquently names my experience since Joanne's death, though I don't expect that ever "the work of grief is done." It just changes, as I've said, from piercing pain to dull ache which I expect will always accompany me in the land of grief.

FOR GRIEF

Adam O'Donahue

When you lose someone you love,

Your life becomes strange,

The ground beneath you gets fragile,

Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;

And some dead echo drags your voice down

Where words have no confidence.

Your heart has grown heavy with loss;

And though this loss has wounded others too,

No one knows what has been taken from you

When the silence of absence deepens.

Flickers of guilt kindle regret

For all that was left unsaid or undone.

There are days when you wake up happy;

Again inside the fullness of life,

Until the moment breaks

And you are thrown back

Onto the black tide of loss.

Days when you have your heart back,

You are able to function well

Until in the middle of work or encounter,

Suddenly with no warning,

You are ambushed by grief.

It becomes hard to trust yourself.

All you can depend on now is that

Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.

More than you, it knows its way

And will find the right time

To pull and pull the rope of grief

Until that coiled hill of tears

Has reduced to its last drop.

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance

With the invisible form of your departed;

And when the work of grief is done,

The wound of loss will heal

And you will have learned

To wean your eyes

From that gap in the air

And be able to enter the hearth

In your soul where your loved one

Has awaited your return

All the time.

Takk for alt

Al