The Caring Bridge phase of my blog began with Joanne's illness and continued to her death and is still happening. Consequently, I've focused heavily on grief, my own, others and reactions to grief. Now, about 20 month's after Joanne's death I continue to live in the land of grief, however, that life is very different than it was earlier in the journey. Seldom, now, am I brought to tears. While I miss Joanne it's more of an ache rather than stabbing pain.
Today a friend said that the impression of my situation gained from the blog is in contrast to the way I come across in person. Reading my blog gives the impression of me as more melancholy than I'm experienced in person. This leads me to wonder if I've inadvertently given an erroneous impression of my situation.
While life divided at Joanne's death, today I'm mostly happy, serene and fully engaged with life. Every day I think of her and one of the gifts of remaining in "our" condo is that it is filled with reminders of her. For example every time I use the toaster I think of her as I replace the cover...leaving it off was one of her pet peeves. If this blog has given a false impression of my well being I'm sorry.
So, life is good, the sorrow is in her missing it and us sharing it.
Takk for alt,
Al
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