With my new(er) sensitivity I find grief everywhere...in the press, Friends pass their copies of The Reader's Digest to me. Opening the December/January issue I found this article:
"How to Help a Friend Grieve: as a psychotherapist, she thought she knew all the tools for dealing with loss. Then her partner died." The article goes on to report how poorly prepared she was for his death, drowning at age 40, and how unhelpful many responses were to her. PP. 26-29. The author Megan Devine writes, "It's not that people around us meant to be cruel; they just didn't know how to be truly helpful. Like many grieving people, we stopped talking about our pain to friends and family. It was easier to pretend everything was fine than continually defend and explain grief to those who couldn't understand."
It's a good article and I'm pleased to see it in Reader's Digest where it will receive wide exposure. Personally, my response to it is one of gratitude. Family and friends have been helpful to me and very little has been said or done that is downright helpful. If I could wish for one thing it would be even more spontaneous references to Joanne. Usually when someone does mention her I learn something new about her.
The family was present Saturday to help me decorate for Christmas, the second year of this new tradition. For the first time since 1964 I will not participate in sending a Christmas letter to family and friends. However, I am certainly grateful when I receive them.
Takk for alt,
Al
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