Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — 23 hours ago
Death is a topic much on my mind. A learning is how welcome it is to talk about Joanne since she died. Sinai, S.D., still has a traditional Fourth of July program, which acts as an informal homecoming time for those who have moved away. Today as I attended I found myself asking questions; "How long since your son died?" "Twelve years" answered one couple, "January" said a mother. "When did your husband die "Twenty one years ago and visitation was on July 4th. So this is always a hard time for me" said a widow.
Two possible reasons may account for reluctance to talk to the bereaved about their dead loved one. Perhaps that avoidance is fear of upsetting the bereaved by reminding them of their loss. Or, it could be that we are so uncomfortable thinking about our own death we just want to avoid the subject. Maybe it is a combination of both.
Experiencing Joanne's death has taught me to ask other's about their loss. No one has been upset by my questions. On the contrary, asking has led to deeply meaningful conversations that have provided the caring relationship that gives me hope.
Take a clue from me and try it yourself. Broach the subject of the bereaved's loss and see where it leads.
Blessings,
Al
Two possible reasons may account for reluctance to talk to the bereaved about their dead loved one. Perhaps that avoidance is fear of upsetting the bereaved by reminding them of their loss. Or, it could be that we are so uncomfortable thinking about our own death we just want to avoid the subject. Maybe it is a combination of both.
Experiencing Joanne's death has taught me to ask other's about their loss. No one has been upset by my questions. On the contrary, asking has led to deeply meaningful conversations that have provided the caring relationship that gives me hope.
Take a clue from me and try it yourself. Broach the subject of the bereaved's loss and see where it leads.
Blessings,
Al
No comments:
Post a Comment