Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Jul 10, 2018
Perhaps it's a theme of this Journal that hope comes to me through relationships. Everyday there are people who reach out to me one way or another. Those touches are life giving. Today one came to me via email from a dear friend who, out of her own experience, has reflected deeply on the nature of grief.
J. writes "For me, it has been helpful with both the death of my son and the gradual loss of my mom, ( Her mother has dementia recently diagnosed as Lewy Body.) to break down and label the absence and loss I'm feeling into two portions: the grief of missing what I had and loved and the grief of longing for what I did not have. I hear and appreciate both aspects of loss in your writing. I think everyone experiences both aspects of grief, but the distance in time from the death and the length of shared time may cause these two portions to fluctuate. The grief doesn't go away, but it does evolve."
Though I'd never thought of it like this before, she really speaks to my experience. Truly I grieve what Joanne and I had but is no more. Companionship is a good description of that loss. Also, I mourn that which Joanne misses in the change of seasons, the exchanges with family and friends, etc.
Yes, I grieve and mourn. Yet, at the same time, I am so blessed and am deeply grateful.
Blessings,
Al
J. writes "For me, it has been helpful with both the death of my son and the gradual loss of my mom, ( Her mother has dementia recently diagnosed as Lewy Body.) to break down and label the absence and loss I'm feeling into two portions: the grief of missing what I had and loved and the grief of longing for what I did not have. I hear and appreciate both aspects of loss in your writing. I think everyone experiences both aspects of grief, but the distance in time from the death and the length of shared time may cause these two portions to fluctuate. The grief doesn't go away, but it does evolve."
Though I'd never thought of it like this before, she really speaks to my experience. Truly I grieve what Joanne and I had but is no more. Companionship is a good description of that loss. Also, I mourn that which Joanne misses in the change of seasons, the exchanges with family and friends, etc.
Yes, I grieve and mourn. Yet, at the same time, I am so blessed and am deeply grateful.
Blessings,
Al
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