Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Jul 24, 2018
The epigraph in the novel Indian Horses, Richard Wagamese, is a quote from Wendell Berry.
"I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world and am free."
Wendel Berry "The Peace of Wild things"
The first line struck me. "I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief...." Yes, we humans do "tax our lives with forethought of grief." When Joanne was first diagnosed with cancer last July she said "I don't want to die." That was a "forethought of grief." My reacttion was rather dismissive which she interpreted as my unwillingness to talk of death. This was a misuderstanding of my thought. Given the state of medical care today I assumed there would be successful treatment.
So we were both wrong. She was wrong about my willingness to talk of death and I was wrong about the result of her cancer. Would that it would have been opposite...I being unwilling and her cancer being curable.
Life is terminal. Perhaps without that realization our minutes, days, hours, and years would have less meaning. Yet, we worry about so many things, almost all of which never happen. "Teach us to number our days..."
Blessings,
Al
"I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world and am free."
Wendel Berry "The Peace of Wild things"
The first line struck me. "I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief...." Yes, we humans do "tax our lives with forethought of grief." When Joanne was first diagnosed with cancer last July she said "I don't want to die." That was a "forethought of grief." My reacttion was rather dismissive which she interpreted as my unwillingness to talk of death. This was a misuderstanding of my thought. Given the state of medical care today I assumed there would be successful treatment.
So we were both wrong. She was wrong about my willingness to talk of death and I was wrong about the result of her cancer. Would that it would have been opposite...I being unwilling and her cancer being curable.
Life is terminal. Perhaps without that realization our minutes, days, hours, and years would have less meaning. Yet, we worry about so many things, almost all of which never happen. "Teach us to number our days..."
Blessings,
Al
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