The consistency of experience in land of grief remains. It is that even as my life continues, and even in some ways expands, Joanne is not present with whom to process the events, the experiences, the interactions with others in this life. Therein lies much of the pain of the presence of absence. Her position in relationship to me was unique. There is no one else who can understand all the implications and nuances of what I might have liked to report.
So I come back to the same old theme...the hardest part is the 'after'...after seeing someone. after an event, after a news item, after an occurrence; not having her present for the report and the processing of what has occurred. In this vein I came across this quote which captures my experience and my feeling.
“The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we'd done were less real and important than they had been hours before.”
― The Fault in Our Stars
Life in the land of grief is good even as it has a terrible void, the loss of my "co-remeberer" and as Green says, that even effects the memory itself
Takk for alt,
Al
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