Her Chair

    Joanne's twin Laz-E-Boy recliner are one of the more poignant reminders of her and the presence of absence. The one, in which she fell asleep in the showroom, graces the condo, and the other purchased on a farm sale, lives in The Little House On The Prairie. Her condo recliner perches in front of the TV where she regularly watched MSNBC's Rachel Maddow and CNN. These chairs were also her place for reading those 3 or 4 books a week in her latter years. Sometimes they were also a place of refuge when she battled her persistent cough.
    Recently I discovered that the condo recliner is comfortable for me, with a strategically placed pillow. It's good place for me to read while a baseball game is on, with the sound turned low. Baseball is a game of waiting for something to happen that seldom does. As I read a book my ears perk up when the baseball announcer's voice rises. When that I happens I look up to watch the replay because the thing that seldom happens has happened for once.
    Could this late occupation of Joanne's chair be a metaphor for my life in the land of grief?  Does it symbolize all the ways that I now live life for both of us, thus "occupying her chair?" As I have recognized the terrible loss her death caused her children, our children, and grandchildren I have consciously tried to be more present in helpful ways. Frequently I've referenced our wonderful friends. Of course, they too have suffered the grief of her death. Their continued relationship has been a great source of sustenance for me. Hopefully I have also been there for them as they too grieve, as Joanne would have cared for them had I died.


Takk for alt,

Al

Joanne's condo chair.

Joanne in her chair during hospice care.