How should we remember a loved one?

     Joanne loved flowers and she loved to give flowers. The flower shop in Golden Valley had her credit card on record so it was easy for her to phone them with instructions to whom they were to be sent. Over the years I bought many flowers for her often in twos or threes with increased frequency. Leaving flowers at her grave is meaningful and I ordered a marker with a large platform for the ease of holding a vase. She liked to leave flowers on her parents and grandparents graves so I know it is an appropriate gesture for her now.
      Remembering is the important part and how could I forget? Between the condo and The Little House On The Prairie I am surrounded by myriad tokens of our life together. Staying on where she lived has been a blessing for me. She smiles back from the pictures I've placed under the glass top of my desk and, even as I write, my eye falls on those visages.
     There is no one right way to remember those who have died.  The obituary reprinted below  speaks eloquently to a beautiful mixture of methods of remembering. Perhaps it might strike you adopt one of those scenarios and reflect on Joanne and who she was to you. Certainly she was a gift to many.

2. In Lieu of Flowers by Shawna Lemay

A few years ago I read a friend’s father’s obituary on Facebook. His father had requested in lieu of flowers, please take a friend or loved one out for lunch. 

Although I love flowers very much, I won’t see them when I’m gone. So in lieu of flowers:  Buy a book of poetry written by someone still alive, sit outside with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, and read it out loud, by yourself or to someone, or silently.
Spend some time with a single flower. A rose maybe. Smell it, touch the petals.
Really look at it. 
Drink a nice bottle of wine with someone you love.
Or, Champagne. And think of what John Maynard Keynes said, “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne.” Or what Dom Perignon said when he first tasted the stuff: “Come quickly! I am tasting stars!” 
Take out a paint set and lay down some colours.
Watch birds. Common sparrows are fine. Pigeons, too. Geese are nice. Robins.
In lieu of flowers, walk in the trees and watch the light fall into it. Eat an apple, a really nice big one. I hope it’s crisp. 
Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, maybe some rose petals.
Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name. 
If it’s winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. If it’s summer, a big glass of ice water. 
If it’s autumn, collect some leaves and press them in a book you love. I’d like that. 
Sit and look out a window and write down what you see. Write some other things down. 
In lieu of flowers, 
I would wish for you to flower. 
I would wish for you to blossom, to open, to be beautiful.

Takk for alt,

Al