There were many gifts I received from my family of origin; a love of reading, a work ethic, critical thinking, a positive outlook, compassion and much more. One thing I did not learn was to discuss decisions in the making.
Joanne and I began our relationship on a young adult trip to Holden Village early in September 1963. As our relationship developed from September into December, Joanne would have loved to have known what I was thinking about the future of our relationship. In December she was offered the position of Dean Of Women at Wartburg College in IA. It was clear that I was headed to Luther Seminary, St. Paul., MN., in the fall of 1964. Paralyzed by the fear that discussion might imply more commitment than I was ready to make I was mute. Uffda!
Plans were in place for us to spend Christmas with my parents in Sinai., S.D. When I picked Joanne up at her dorm apartment for the trip to Sinai she came with poinsettia plants, from some college events, she was bringing to my mother. On the pretext of forgetting something we stopped at my apartment in First Lutheran Church. There I presented her with an engagement ring. After she'd been silent for an hour I asked, "Does this mean yes?" Ever after we joked about this being the longest she'd ever been silent.
Meanwhile the poinsettias were freezing in the car with the air temperature minus 20. Joanne brought the plants into Mother's house to discard but Mother thought it was so sweet she displayed them as if they were healthy. When she called home to report our engagement her brother asked "To whom?"
Yes, I remain a work in progress but Joanne taught me much about the value of conversation.
Takk for alt,
Al
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