Journal entry by Al Negstad — 25 minutes ago
When we moved into our house in Golden Valley in 1988, Rose, a young girl who lived next door, met Joanne and they bonded. Rose asked if Joanne would be her 'neighborhood grandma' because she didn't have a grandma. You can imagine Joanne's positive response. On May Day rose would bring flowers or a plant to Joanne. After high school Rose went away to college, yet, every May Day, Joanne continued to receive a May Day Basket. The baskets continued to come when Rose lived in Paris and Washington, D.C. Rose never missed a year and the final flowers came while Joanne was in hospice.
Last July, Rose was married in Minneapolis and I attended the wedding. It was extremely difficult for me to be there and I might have fled, except for the presence of neighbors from Golden Valley to whom I'm close. I'm grateful I stayed and I had a very meaningful conversation with the bride and groom. Joanne's role was acknowledged by Rose's father when he addressed the guests.
There are two reasons for sharing this story. First, it is a tribute to both Joanne and Rose. Joanne's capacity to connect with others, young or old, rich or poor, famous or forgotten, was a gift that she gave generously. Rose honored that connection and never failed to remember Joanne even as Rose pursued life far away.
The second reason for telling the story is that it serves as a marker for my place in the land of grief. Were the wedding to occur today it would still be emotional for me. But, today, there would be no temptation to flee. It is evidence that I've moved to a new level of acceptance of Joanne's death and the continuing presence of absence.
Blessings,
Al
Last July, Rose was married in Minneapolis and I attended the wedding. It was extremely difficult for me to be there and I might have fled, except for the presence of neighbors from Golden Valley to whom I'm close. I'm grateful I stayed and I had a very meaningful conversation with the bride and groom. Joanne's role was acknowledged by Rose's father when he addressed the guests.
There are two reasons for sharing this story. First, it is a tribute to both Joanne and Rose. Joanne's capacity to connect with others, young or old, rich or poor, famous or forgotten, was a gift that she gave generously. Rose honored that connection and never failed to remember Joanne even as Rose pursued life far away.
The second reason for telling the story is that it serves as a marker for my place in the land of grief. Were the wedding to occur today it would still be emotional for me. But, today, there would be no temptation to flee. It is evidence that I've moved to a new level of acceptance of Joanne's death and the continuing presence of absence.
Blessings,
Al
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