Journal entry by Al Negstad — 31 minutes ago
The trip to Asia/Australia is rapidly approaching and preparation feels very different this time. It will be my 11th year of teaching in Thailand, so getting ready should be routine. All of those trips have been solo, so I've always done all of the preparation. Therefore, it seems that it should be all routine. Yet, it seems quite different to me this time.
Perhaps it's the loss of my cheerleader that makes this different. The one with whom I'd discuss various aspects of getting ready and who would ask about what I anticipated when I was back in Thailand. Joanne was the one who initially prompted me to teach and she took satisfaction in my teaching. While she had no interest in returning to SE Asia, she delighted in the handicrafts I brought back. Giving those crafts to her family and friends was important to her. Consequently, this trip will involve less shopping for me. She always eagerly anticipated the moment my bags were emptied and she saw what I had brought her.
As, in so many other aspects of life in the land of grief, I keep on keeping on, and this includes my Thai adventure. Of course, what once seemed exotic and different, has now lost it's edge. This requires that I pay close attention and work to stay in the moment. Those haunts, which once fascinated me, are now my home away from home. No doubt grief will follow me as I will miss the regular phone calls and the daily emails reporting on her activities.
The teachers at "my" school and the family with whom I stay are aware of Joanne's death. They have communicated their condolences to me electronically. What they will communicate in person remains to be seen. What their culture dictates is unknown to me but I know it will not include a hug. More learning to come.
Blessings,
Al
Picture: With the 3rd grade class last year and I'll have them as 4th graders this year.
Perhaps it's the loss of my cheerleader that makes this different. The one with whom I'd discuss various aspects of getting ready and who would ask about what I anticipated when I was back in Thailand. Joanne was the one who initially prompted me to teach and she took satisfaction in my teaching. While she had no interest in returning to SE Asia, she delighted in the handicrafts I brought back. Giving those crafts to her family and friends was important to her. Consequently, this trip will involve less shopping for me. She always eagerly anticipated the moment my bags were emptied and she saw what I had brought her.
As, in so many other aspects of life in the land of grief, I keep on keeping on, and this includes my Thai adventure. Of course, what once seemed exotic and different, has now lost it's edge. This requires that I pay close attention and work to stay in the moment. Those haunts, which once fascinated me, are now my home away from home. No doubt grief will follow me as I will miss the regular phone calls and the daily emails reporting on her activities.
The teachers at "my" school and the family with whom I stay are aware of Joanne's death. They have communicated their condolences to me electronically. What they will communicate in person remains to be seen. What their culture dictates is unknown to me but I know it will not include a hug. More learning to come.
Blessings,
Al
Picture: With the 3rd grade class last year and I'll have them as 4th graders this year.
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