Journal entry by Al Negstad — a minute ago
Now,that makes sense! But first, some context. Let's begin with birth order; I'm the youngest of four children, and I think, that will explain some things. While it was apparent from an early age that I had some leadership gifts I've not always been comfortable leading. Often I was happiest when I could just do my own thing.
When I attended week long training with church based organizing I learned that I was comfortable leading, if it was my job, or if a group asked it of me. Leading when the need arose, but I was not nominated, was another matter. Just assuming leadership was a new approach. Added to this reticence is my natural introversion.
Many years ago, making my first solo trip to SE Asia to visit L, was a revelation to me. The freedom of doing what I wanted, when I wanted, without taking responsibility for anyone else was satisfying. Leaving the responsibilities of my work behind I could enjoy my freedom. Much as I loved Joanne, even a few weeks without martial responsibility, was freeing.
Now I live in the land of grief, where for 9 months I've been free to do what I want, etc. Therefore, the context for this trip is very different. It was in conversation with a friend over lunch when we arrived at this insight about solo freedom.
Reaching this understanding has had a very interesting effect on me. My preparations for this trip have not been easy. With the deadline of a flight forcing me I've prepared but rather halfheartedly. However, since recognizing my prior motivation, suddenly I'm energized and excited about the trip. The emotional block has been removed. 😁
Blessings,
Al
Here's a bit of humor from my evening. At a farewell dinner with the family I ordered a glass of wine. The waitress, about 21 years old, asked to see my ID. Opening my wallet I realized I'd stripped it for the trip and didn't have my driver's license with me. L said bring me the wine and he can have it. The waitress returned saying the manager nixed that idea. Iced tea was a good substitute. As we were leaving I told the waitress that that little incident was very amusing. She was relieved that I wasn't angry. After I left I thought "I should have told her that I turned 21, in 1959!" 😅
PS Tomorrow is travel day so my next post will be from Bangkok, but there will be a delay. The timing with be different because Thailand is 13 hours ahead of Minnesota time.
Picture: Bangkok
When I attended week long training with church based organizing I learned that I was comfortable leading, if it was my job, or if a group asked it of me. Leading when the need arose, but I was not nominated, was another matter. Just assuming leadership was a new approach. Added to this reticence is my natural introversion.
Many years ago, making my first solo trip to SE Asia to visit L, was a revelation to me. The freedom of doing what I wanted, when I wanted, without taking responsibility for anyone else was satisfying. Leaving the responsibilities of my work behind I could enjoy my freedom. Much as I loved Joanne, even a few weeks without martial responsibility, was freeing.
Now I live in the land of grief, where for 9 months I've been free to do what I want, etc. Therefore, the context for this trip is very different. It was in conversation with a friend over lunch when we arrived at this insight about solo freedom.
Reaching this understanding has had a very interesting effect on me. My preparations for this trip have not been easy. With the deadline of a flight forcing me I've prepared but rather halfheartedly. However, since recognizing my prior motivation, suddenly I'm energized and excited about the trip. The emotional block has been removed. 😁
Blessings,
Al
Here's a bit of humor from my evening. At a farewell dinner with the family I ordered a glass of wine. The waitress, about 21 years old, asked to see my ID. Opening my wallet I realized I'd stripped it for the trip and didn't have my driver's license with me. L said bring me the wine and he can have it. The waitress returned saying the manager nixed that idea. Iced tea was a good substitute. As we were leaving I told the waitress that that little incident was very amusing. She was relieved that I wasn't angry. After I left I thought "I should have told her that I turned 21, in 1959!" 😅
PS Tomorrow is travel day so my next post will be from Bangkok, but there will be a delay. The timing with be different because Thailand is 13 hours ahead of Minnesota time.
Picture: Bangkok
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