In some regards I know too much. It's hard to just lean into the news and trust. I think it might be easier if I knew less. It's clear that there will a huge change and it's hard to imagine that it will be for the better. Added into the mix of feelings is the unfamiliarity of being on this side of the impending event. Then, too, there is recognition of how much better I could have done some things in the past.
When Joanne was alive I'd make a start like the paragraph above and then tease by saying "I'll tell you more tomorrow" but then would tell her. So, I'll tell you more tomorrow. 😉 ....well, OK, here goes.....
Dan and Mary, beloved pastors of Grace University Lutheran are retiring. Over their 27 year tenure they have nurtured a wonderful, caring community. No doubt there will be an interim pastor, probably lengthy. A new pastor will be called. The experience looks and feels so different when I'm the one being left and not the one leaving. It's very unsettling.
One of my first internal reactions was "but the new pastor will not have known Joanne." Then I thought, "Wow, I could have done much more to seek out and listen to the recently bereaved when I began a new call." It's new grief which lands with me living in the land of grief. Being an adult is not an easy thing, is it?
Takk for alt,
Al
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