Sunday, March 31, 2019

3/31/2019 Caring Bridge

Journal entry by Al Negstad — 29 minutes ago
Family and friends have carried me through this year in the land of grief.  Without them I don't know that I would have made it and, if I would have, certainly not as well.  Their presence in my life fills me with gratitude as I realize how blessed I am.
    One of the realities that comes with the loss of a spouse is a loss of standing.  Likely the bereaved is no longer number one for anyone.  For 55, years I was number one for Joanne as she was number one for me.  Now I must live in that memory while recognizing that I no longer carry that status with anyone.  That is a reality that creates loneliness for me even as I recognize and celebrate the love and support of a host of family and friends.  
    Please don't misunderstand.  This changes nothing about my recent assertions that I have myself back.  It is just the reality and the shape of the grief I carry in this land.

Blessings,

Al

Picture: The bouquet placed in church today in memory of Joanne. 

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