Journal entry by Al Negstad — 26 minutes ago
Having lived for over ten months in the land of grief I'm experiencing a degree of ambivalence. The presence of absence is certainly less acute much of the time. My life alone has taken on a feeling of normalcy. Moving through the condo alone, doing things by myself, deciding with out consult is routine and therefore quite easy...comfortable even. It has become normal to live without adult supervision and, perhaps a surprise to some, that I've managed thus far.
There is another side, however, a sad dimension. It doesn't feel right that Joanne's presence is less intense and there is loss in that. Leaving her "behind" seems wrong, even though I've been assured that she is with me in a new way. In this new way she seems more distant as experiences pile up that don't include her. "The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more." Psalm 103:15 NIV This may be inevitable but I don't have to like it!
Blessings,
Al
Pictures: 1. I love the funky, old, wood school building, 2. son of the deceased greeting people at the funeral, 3. funeral flowers, 4. picture of the deceased.
There is another side, however, a sad dimension. It doesn't feel right that Joanne's presence is less intense and there is loss in that. Leaving her "behind" seems wrong, even though I've been assured that she is with me in a new way. In this new way she seems more distant as experiences pile up that don't include her. "The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more." Psalm 103:15 NIV This may be inevitable but I don't have to like it!
Blessings,
Al
Pictures: 1. I love the funky, old, wood school building, 2. son of the deceased greeting people at the funeral, 3. funeral flowers, 4. picture of the deceased.
