Journal entry by Joanne Negstad — Oct 5, 2018
Doing laundry today in 'the little house on the prairie' revealed another dimension of 'the presence of absence.' When the unusual happens; a chance meeting with someone, a conversation she'd enjoy, attending a special event, etc., it is difficult that I can't tell her about it. Many experiences have come my way since she died, experiences she'd have been interested in knowing about. It's the "after" that's hardest, as I've written before.
While doing the laundry I remembered the many times we'd remarked how helpful it is to have a washer and dryer in the 'little house.' No need to cart farm clothes and hunting gear back to Minneapolis to wash. It was one of those repetitive conversations we'd had countless times. Wow! It was totally mundane but indicative of a deep, shared connection. I missed our saying it. This is just one example of the many ordinary, repeated observations that form the matrix of a relationship. Living in 'the land of grief,' I was struck today by the significance of this loss; a life time partner with whom to share the minutia of everyday life. Someone else might say "how many times are you going say that?" but in a relationship it's a 'binder'...something that reaffirms our connection.
This is another way I miss her, a part of the void in 'the land of grief.'
Blessings,
While doing the laundry I remembered the many times we'd remarked how helpful it is to have a washer and dryer in the 'little house.' No need to cart farm clothes and hunting gear back to Minneapolis to wash. It was one of those repetitive conversations we'd had countless times. Wow! It was totally mundane but indicative of a deep, shared connection. I missed our saying it. This is just one example of the many ordinary, repeated observations that form the matrix of a relationship. Living in 'the land of grief,' I was struck today by the significance of this loss; a life time partner with whom to share the minutia of everyday life. Someone else might say "how many times are you going say that?" but in a relationship it's a 'binder'...something that reaffirms our connection.
This is another way I miss her, a part of the void in 'the land of grief.'
Blessings,
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