Good Grief!

       The late Rev. Granger Westberg published a little book in 1962, Good Grief.  It was a very early offering in the grief genre. Westberg was a pioneer in Lutheran chaplaincy. The book was helpful in understanding the phenomena of grief.

      The book came to mind last night after I posted my blog about And Every Morning The Way Home Gets Longer And  Longer triggering an episode of grief. MJV, who had very generously given me the book, emailed me to apologize.  On the contrary I responded, I liked the book, am glad I read it and it was good grief.

      So why would I call it good grief?  It was an intuitive response that was worth some reflection. The conclusion I reached was that such episodic waves of grief are important for at least two reasons. First, it is a healthy part of the process of coming to terms with the loss of the loved one. This is well articulated in grief literature. Perhaps there is also a second reason, about which I've never read, I think these grief events serve to keep us connected to the one whom we've lost. As time passes Joanne is less on my mind and, while that is natural, it is also a loss. I'm grateful for those events/experiences that remind me of her loss which helps me to maintain the connection.

       Those are at least two reasons to call it good grief. If I'm correct it would also mean that when we trigger grief responses in another we may actually be doing them a favor. That's the way I feel about MJV's gift of the book to me.

 Winter Is the Best Time

by David Budbill

Winter is the best time
to find out who you are.

Quiet, contemplation time,
away from the rushing world,

cold time, dark time, holed-up
pulled-in time and space

to see that inner landscape,
that place hidden and within.

    If this poem is true about winter isn't it also true of COVID isolation?

Takk for alt,

Al

PS "In our deepest moments we say the most inadequate things." Edna O'Brien, The Love Object, in Garner's Quotations, P. 15.