Joanne's death on April 12, was preceded by a quick, rapid decline which was preceded by a slow diminishment of her strength over the last few years. Back troubles, small strokes, a serious concussion from a fall, and a persistent, chronic cough made life increasingly complicated. She often said "I'm so tired of going to medical appointments." The stokes, head injury and extensive exposure to anesthesia during fourteen surgeries may have been the cause of some short term memory loss which really frustrated her.
Her limitations led us to rearrange household duties. It was a gradual change, but the result was that, folding the laundry was the only duty she maintained. Therefore, on a practical level life hasn't changed much for me. That eases one phase of my adjustment.
Where my tears surface is when something happens that I want to tell her about and can't. I can tell other's but that requires a whole explanation of the context of the event so they can grasp the significance. But, even then, it lacks her perspective and response. That absence is what I'm going to have to learn to live with and, needless to say, I don't like it.
People have not abandoned me and for that I am deeply grateful.
Blessings,
al
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