Topic, functioning!

It's fascinating how people function in a relationship. Have you ever noticed the symmetry in personal relationships? Over functioners seem irresistibly attracted to under functioners and so to the other way. Then they marry and spend their life time driving each other nuts. Whose fault is it? Is it the under fuctioner who never quite seems to get around to doing a thing? Or is the over functioner who is always quick to action. The late Edwin Friedmann recommended to over functioners to "defect in place". By that he meant to stay in the relationship but just stop doing everything. One thing I know for sure; the only person I can change is myself. When I change my functioning while I stay in relationship while changing myself interesting things happen.