Grief's pattern.

         Grief is individual and, yet, grief has patterns that are common to many grievers.  Perhaps a common experience might go under the general heading of "flashbacks."  Out of the blue a sound, a smell, a person, an event, an anniversary will trigger a memory that brings a flood of grief.  This experience in bereavement is common enough that it shows up in literature.
        In Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow,  a Jesuit Priest, ordained after his wife died, talks about his grief. "In the normal way of things, it takes about a year, when you lose someone you really care for. Before the worst of it lets you go, I mean. I found anniversaries the hardest. Not the normal things like wedding anniversaries, you understand. I'd be going along, functioning fairly well really, and then I'd realize, today would have been ten years since we met, or six years since we moved to London, or two years since that rip to France. Used to lay me away properly, little anniversaries like that."  P. 282
     Yes, grief, as least my grief is like that. Yet, life in limbo has not exacerbated it significantly.  During this time of pain and suffering I am truly among the fortunate ones.

Takk for alt,

Al