Sometime in the not-so-distant past of American history, then President Jimmy Carter, was pilloried for suggesting that the country suffered from malaise. Is malaise a good description for what we're feeling now as we wait for the other shoe to drop? Of course it's unsettling to be in this situation, knowing that bad things are coming but no one can tell us exactly what to expect.
A friend who reads my blog sent me this email in response to what I posted last night.
"I am hearing a lot of people saying what
you said in your blog. I wonder if we are internally overwhelmed and
our egos are working hard to keep
us strong and in control resulting in some low level form
of depression. I also think we are all in the land of grief.
Everyone's norms have been turned upside down . We have to figure a new
norm and we know we can’t go back to the old."
Apparently I'm not alone.
In this context I think this quote from an article in the January 6, 2020, The New Yorker, is fitting.
"....when I thought of it I didn't think grief could come near me again.
"It was a poor way of thinking. We are never finished with grief. It is part of the fabric of living. It always waits to happen. Love makes memories and life precious; the grief that comes to us is proportionate to that love and is inescapable." GRIEF; A writer reckons with loss; V.S. Naipaul, P. 19
Perhaps if we think ourselves as sojourners in the land of grief it might help us make sense of this new reality in which we live. Foundations have been shaken, anxiety abounds and we grieve for the life we had, wondering if it will ever return. If ever the practice of a day at a time was appropriate it would be now.
In the immediate aftermath of Joanne's death, and the time since, it was relationships that carried me. I'm finding the same is true now. Phone calls, facetime, emails...connect me to those who are important and in conversation with them I'm given hope and courage. Yes, this too shall, pass but let us remember those who suffer.
Takk for alt,
Al
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