eat pray love

Elizabet Gilbert's book, eat pray love, is good reading. It is both entertaining and inspiring. We can learn much from both Hindus and Buddhists. I'm only on the part where she is in India so Indonesia is yet to come.
From my Judeo-Christian background I have two fundamental disagreements with both Hinduism and Buddhism. First, I disagree with their locus of evil being in material. The Judeo-Christian understanding that matter is not evil I think is very helpful. Second, reincarnation I find essential pessimistic. How depressing to think that I'm only going to get what I deserve.
The combination of these two ideas leads to a quietism that allows persons to work out their own salvation with little concern for the suffering of their neighbor. There is no need to help the neighbor because you may disturb his/her karma as he/she works his/her way to nirvana. If good works are done they are to make merit for one's own redemption.

How quickly I forget!

Its been a few years since my first back surgery, a discectomy to trim a bulging disc that was impinging on a nerve to my leg. Within weeks, probably, it bulged again which led to a second surgery about a year later. The nerve to my leg was compromised long enough to cause my ankle to be weak. I couldn't keep it from rolling out when I walked on rough ground. When I tried to run it felt like it would collapse. It was very frustrating and, for two years, I thought, "O, if I could just run again!"
Now the ankle is strong again. Over time the nerve has responded and I can hold my ankle. I can run without feeling like it will collapse. So now what? I'm rediscovering that running is hard work and I find myself thinking "this isn't so great". The days when I was wishing I could run have been replaced with resistance to the challenge of pushing myself.

How quickly I forget!

The gift of long friendship.

Today we met at the golf dome to hit some balls while we wait for golf weather. I last saw him when we golfed in October. That's a bit like the pattern of our lives. We're the same age...we grew up on neighboring farms in SDak and were classmates for 8 years in country school and 4 years of high school. We even roomed together for a year after high school. As boys we thought it great fun to overnight at each others homes. His favorite story about me happened on one of those overnights at my house. We had to stay after school. At dinner my dad said, "You were kinda late coming home from school today." I said, "Ya, we had to stay after school for something we didn't do." Dad said, "What was that?" I said, "We didn't do our homework." He swears it's true but I don't remember it.
After high school he went to work and soon married...he has a grandchild who is college junior. I took quite a different path and for 50 years we seldom had any contact. We'd occasionally see each other when we were both in SDak. Now we both live in the Minneapolis area. A couple of years ago we needed a 4th for golf. I called him and soon he was playing regularly with the group of which I was a part.
Its been fascinating for me to reconnect and see how deep the bond after all these years. That is a factor of early shared history plus many core values in common and...we just like each other. I continue to believe that friendship is one greatest gifts God gives in this life. New friends, old friends.........

See you in the funny papers!

More and more I'm finding myself in the funnies. Often it is in Arlo and Janice. But Pickles brought this one. Wife to old guy, "You're very quiet tonight." Old guy, "Not really. I read that 90% of our communication is inside our own head. So I've been jabbering away, but you just couldn't tell." Wife, "What on earth is that supposed to mean?" Old guy, "Huh? I'm sorry what'd you say? I can't listen to two conversations at once." Guess which is me in that comic? I keep telling Joanne that each person is given a certain quota of words to last a life time. Use them up too soon and you end up mute your last days on earth. I'm in no danger. :)

We don't move quickly.......

A trip to Chicago for a baby shower for our grandchild, sex to be determined later, prompted some reflections on impending grandpa hood. Our son, Lars, and his wife, Melissa, are expecting their first child soon. The due date is April 22, but you know how babies are. Joanne brought some heirlooms to the shower and several of the young women said they'd never seen anything so old outside of a museum...and no they were NOT talking about me.
This all started me thinking about my family tree. On my fathers side, my grandfather, Lars, was born in 1857 and my father, Albert, was born in 1883. I was born in 1938, and son, Lars, was born in 1969. That means that this child's birth comes 152 years after his/her great great grandfather. Some families get to the great great stage in 80 years. We don't move quickly. I certainly wish I would have asked my father much more about his father to enrich that oral family history reaching back over 150 years.

Two oars, same side of the boat!!!

With two oars on the same side of the boat there is a tendency to go in circles. Lisa needed an oil change for her car so I agreed to pick her up at the garage and drive her to the airport. Later I realized that one of our cars also needed an oil change so we brought that to the same garage Lisa would be arriving at later in the day. So I told Lisa that our car was there and she could drive it to our house thinking, I, too, would be there to pick her up. When Lisa called to say when she expected to make the car transaction I said, "Fine I'll meet you there" and began to hang up. I can be a little abrupt on the phone. Lisa yelled in the phone, "DAD, DON'T HANG UP!" "What?" I said. She said, "you don't have to come, I'll drive the car home!" That was the first time it dawned on either Joanne or me that I didn't have to meet her there, she could just drive the car home without me present. :) I know I don't have Alzheimer's but I do wonder if I might have Halfzheimers.

The gift of a broken arm, caregiver's perspective...

Most of you know that Joanne broke her arm 3 hours after I returned from 5+ weeks in Asia. The break is in the upper part of her left arm and has to be immobilized for 6 weeks. This means that she cannot dress herself nor tie her shoes. For her perspective on a broken arm you can check my blog written a couple of weeks ago shortly after it happened. Now, I speak only for myself.
Joanne and I are quite independent people, at least I am. Often I'm mistaken for a professor because of my appearance but the similarity goes further. Much of the time I'm on my own trip, like the professor who was stopped by a student as he walked across campus. When the conversation was over the prof. asked the student, "Which way was I going when you stopped me?" The student replied and the prof. said, "Oh good, that means I've had lunch" and he headed toward his office. Tending to Joanne's needs means that, at least twice a day, I have to get out out of my fog and really focus on her. That's a gift. Of course I could do it even if she didn't have a broken arm, but......

A dog tail...or tale?

A hoard of nasty dogs lived between the teachers house where we lived and the school at Wat Salapoon. Growling, barking and generally menacing they made our every walk an adventure. A pack went after Shandah one day until they were driven off by a passing car. I did notice the longer I stayed the less they growled and barked. When I was at the beach at Cha-Am I was very leery of the dogs until I realized that, unlike the ones in Ayutthaya, they were totally benign. I could step over them as they snoozed on the walk, walk past them as the slept in a yard and never once did they growl or bark at me. So why the difference? My only guess is that at a beach town they were used to strangers.
So there's my current dog, Kjell. He'll be 7 on May 1, an enthusiastic Springer and the smartest dog I've owned, or, I should say, I used to own. Lisa's been wanting a dog so she proposed joint custody of Kjell. He stays with her in the woods when she's home and with me when she travels. All well and good, except, he prefers her. When he comes to visit me he's very happy to see me, all wags and wiggles. After a short greeting he goes back to Lisa and when she leaves watches the door for her return for days. When she does return he barks and creates a terrible fuss and he's not normally a barker. The same is true with Lars. If Lars and I go hunting Kjell will only hunt with Lars ignoring me completely, and, no I have NOT mistreated him.
Now to brag a little. Lisa had a friend visit so they were enjoying a snack on the coffee table. They decided to walk across the street to the ARC Retreat Center leaving Kjell in the house. As Lisa returned to the house it dawned on her that they'd left the food on the coffee table (low) and Kjell loose in the house. He hadn't touched a thing! Ya...we're proud!

When two are rowing keep an oar on each side.

Joanne and I joke that we often have only one oar in the water and we hope the other has the opposite side covered. Well........somehow we ended up with concert tickets, all at orchestra hall, three nights in a row. It's a good thing we are retired! Tomorrow it's the Minnesota Orchestra playing Mahler. The Afro Cuban All Stars will entertain us Sunday evening. This trio (triage?) of concerts will be capped by Yo Yo Ma and Silk Road on Monday. The concerts are at 8:00pm, 7:00pm and 7:30pm. Do you think that we'll be able to keep that straight? Whatever, it will be a musical feast.

Spiritual directors have a way......

It was Joanne's day to see her spiritual director, Sister Liz. Joanne was describing how my earlier blog had captured her experience. After a lifetime of work, finally at retirement, she was free to do the things she really wanted to do. There were three weeks of glorious freedom and then the fall. Joanne didn't nail 95 thesis to the church door she bounced off it breaking her shoulder and with the break came curtailment of freedom. Sister Liz sat back listening and then she asked, "so what freedom does this break bring?" Now there's a different way of looking at it for a person who is a life long doer! One person, hearing of this exchange said, "Ya, if it was me I'd just lie on the couch and see all the movies I'd missed." What freedom does this bring? Get that answer right and the result may be a new found peace.

The topic was gratitude....

The African man was making the point that gratitude seems more immediate when you're glad to get a mango so you have something to eat that day and you get three; breakfast, lunch and dinner. He went on that in America everything seems to be provided; food to eat, shelter, transportation, etc. Without the immediate concern of where will my next meal come from, gratitude for what is there, can easily be taken for granted. It reminds me of my pastoral visits to Katherine Keller many years ago. She was in her 90s and had been widowed in her 40s with 9 children for whom to care. In her old age she lived in extremely humble circumstances but exuded gratefulness. Leaving her house I was always filled with energy given to me by her exuberant gratitude. I'd like to be more like Katherine even though I live where much can be taken for granted.

As good as a trip to the gym!

It's not easy, bionic knees and back, now her left arm velcro-ed to her side. Perhaps a recliner might be a good investment as a place to rest and read. Off we trundled through the snow to a furniture store. Have you been in one lately? They're about the size of the north pasture on the farm where I grew up. Wandering through the store looking for chairs ambivalence surged within me; do I want a salesperson or don't I? The right one could be helpful but get the wrong one and I'd rather deal with a bumble bee. We found a cow yard's worth of recliners and began the sit, recline, get up routine. A couple of salesmen wandered through, answered a couple of questions and told us where we could find them. We were teetering on the brink of exhaustion when a saleswoman, "I'm an interior decorator" pounced. "This is most attractive one in the store." Never mind that it was gold and orange...well truth be told it was brown leather...exhaustion drove us back into the snowstorm for the trip home without a chair. It was an eye opening experience for me. I never imagined there could be so many from which to choose. How many choices are needed? Stay tuned to see if there is a recliner in our future.

Catch me if you can!

With the arrival of daylights savings we decided to talk a little walk in the late afternoon sun. We were poking along minding our own business when a large dog ran up to our Springer, Kjell, and said, "Let's play." The owner came hustling up to retrieve his dog when she decided to play 'catch me if you can'. She jumped on Joanne's bad arm, almost knocking her down. Then it was off to the races with the owner yelling and chasing, across the street, into a yard and back again. Finally she ran up to me and I grabbed her and held her for her owner. I give myself much credit that she was returned without injury.

What is it about robins...?

My early morning walk/run, which used to be run/walk, was brightened when I spotted two robins. They are harbingers of hope that winter and snow will lose and spring will eventually win. After five and half weeks in the tropics I'm prohibited from whining about the cold but spring can't come too soon for me. Joan is also an inspiration. She's a retired teacher from the St. Louis Park school system whom I ofter meet. A chat with her today revealed that she fell on the ice on her morning walk January 6. She said, "I only had a mile and half left of my walk when I fell so I finished it." A trip to the doctor diagnosed that she'd broken her right wrist. A little thing like that didn't detour her from her morning walks and, if she doesn't have a worse accident, July 1, will mark 15 years of having walked every day.

"We pick up right where we left off..."

What is it about old friends? The three of them graduated from college together fifty years ago. The intervening years mostly kept them apart with probably six times of seeing each other. Christmas letters were exchanged each year. Sharing brunch with them was holy time as their newly found geographical proximity gave them the chance to reconnect. "Remember when..." "How about the time when..." As an outsider I sat back and basked in the glow of friendship that stood the test of time as they filled in the details of years spent apart. It could have been an organ recital with all three having medical problems but it wasn't. Physical issues were referenced but not dwelt upon. "We pick up right where we left off" said one afterward. Friendship has to be one of the best gifts of God.

The woman at the cash register.

She must have been 80 at least and I'd guess closer to 85. She checked us out on Joanne's first foray out, a visit to Target. She was cheerful and efficient with a warm smile she teased me a bit. Among our purchases was a wastebasket which she used to hold the the other things we bought. No need for a plastic bag, a depression era value that I embrace, a savings for her employer and a stroke for a greener world.
She left me wondering, why is she working? For fun? Out of necessity at an age when one might hope for leisure? Or?

I retired for this?

There is no doubt that Joanne is a worker bee. Always able to accomplish more in less time than any mortal should be able she finally decided it was time to retire. Who can fault her for that as she pushes up against her 73rd birthday. And, for three weeks, it was glorious. Her time was her own, no reports to file, time cards to fill out, office hours to keep...perhaps she wondered, "Why have I waited so long?" She'd long felt that she was neglecting the house, cupboards to clean, things to organize and all the myriad things that slide when work claims priority. Now, finally, she'd have the leisure to tackle the tasks that had long been postponed. Exciting opportunities awaited, a trip with friends to Rome and above all a grandchild expected in April.
At long last her peripatetic husband, that would be me, returned from Asia. Not wanting to miss any chance to visit she delayed leaving for Ash Wednesday service until the last moment. Hurrying up the steps into church she held unto the railing until the top step and when she reached for the door she tripped and fell. A visit to the orthopedic doctor confirmed that her arm was broken near her shoulder, a compression fracture that needs immobilizing for six weeks. As if back fusion in July and knee replacement in May were not enough, now three weeks into her retirement she can't use her left arm for six weeks. The Rome trip is cancelled and her deepest fear, "will I be strong enough to hold my grandchild?"
"She gave up the use of her left arm for Lent" is a shallow joke that ignores the reality of this desert, wilderness experience.

The future of this blog.

Thousands of people, three actually, have encouraged me to blog even when I'm not traveling. Today I was persuaded by my spiritual director, Sr. Joanne, not to be confused with wife Joanne. Sr. Joanne is on the staff of Loyola center and has worked tirelessly for years for my redemption. She's the one who taught me that prayer is paying attention. Here's how she convinced me to continue writing. After I said it was harder to blog when I was home because things don't pop out the same way as when I'm in a foreign land she said, "Well, yes, so pay more attention." How could I argue with such logic? So here goes what may well be a spiritual exercise.

Thoughts about Wat Salapoon School

Wat Salapoon School is funded by the Thai government and therefore is quite well equipped. Because the school is in a poor neighborhood the students are quite poor. However, they are developing world poor as compared with third world poor. Most of the students were dressed in the uniform of the day, of which there are at least three. One of the evidences of their financial situation is lack of good dental care. While medical care is universally available dental care is not. I now see quite a few people in Bkk with braces on their teeth but that is only among the more well to do.
Perhaps I'll return to Ayutthaya and Wat Salapoon next year.

Wat Salapoon School

Thai family, Mai, Gai and children

Wat Salapoon School, Ayutthaya, Thailand

Kwai Bridge and Tiger Temple